When Everyone Gets the Trick But You: How to Work Through Pole Frustration

We’ve all been there—that moment in class when it seems like everyone is nailing a move except you. Maybe your body isn’t cooperating, your brain just isn’t clicking with the mechanics, or frustration takes over and makes everything feel harder.

The emotions that come up in these moments can range from mild annoyance to full-blown discouragement. Some people brush it off easily, while others feel it deeply. And all of those reactions are valid.

If you’re stuck in that frustrating space, here’s how to work through it—with advice from students who’ve been there.

Why It Hurts (And That’s Okay)

Pole dancing is as much a mental challenge as a physical one. When you’re struggling with a move that others seem to pick up quickly, it’s natural to feel:

• Frustration ("Why can’t my body just do this?!")

• Self-doubt ("Maybe I’m just not built for this.")

• Comparison spiral ("They got it in one try—what’s wrong with me?")

• Fear ("What if I never get this?")

First, know this: Your progress is yours alone. There is no universal timeline for when you "should" get a trick. Some moves come quickly; others take months (or years!). That doesn’t mean you’re failing—it just means you’re learning.

What to Do When You’re Stuck in Pole Frustration

1. Acknowledge the Emotion (Then Reset)

It’s okay to feel frustrated, but don’t let it derail you. Student Carrie (who deals with mental blocks from past injuries) shares:

"I have to remind myself to be kind because everyone is coming from a different place. I recommend having a ‘emotional support trick’—one that always makes you feel good—to reset your thoughts!"

Try this: Step away from the frustrating move and do a trick you love to remind yourself how far you’ve come.

2. Reframe “I Can’t” to “Not Yet”

Student Jeni’s mindset shift is gold:

"I’ve changed my thinking from ‘I can’t do that trick’ to ‘I can’t do it YET.’ Pole rewards persistence. If you put in the work, you’ll get there!"

Try this: Add the word "yet" to any negative self-talk.

3. Permission to Skip (For Now)

Student Jena offers this liberating perspective:

"I pole to have fun and feel good—if a move makes me feel bad, I skip it! I might revisit it later, but I focus on what works for me now. Finding humor in the awkwardness helps too!"

Try this: Give yourself full permission to not do something that's draining your joy.

4. Respect the Foundation

Student Ana shares this hard-won wisdom:

"I used to skip 'boring' basics, but they're the secret sauce! Now when I struggle with advanced moves, I know it's because I need to strengthen those foundational skills first."

Try this: Identify one foundational element of the trick (like grip strength or body positioning) and drill just that.

5. Identify What’s Really Holding You Back

Sometimes, the block isn’t just physical. Ask yourself:

✔ Is my body tired? (Strength, flexibility, endurance)

✔ Is my brain tired? (Overthinking, stress, distraction)

✔ Is fear holding me back? (Past falls, mental blocks)

✔ Am I comparing my Day 10 to someone else’s Year 2?

Try this: Break the move into smaller drills. Can’t nail the full trick? Work on just the entry or one piece of it.

6. Give Yourself Permission to Be “Bad” at Something

Not every move will feel natural right away—and that’s normal. You’re allowed to be bad at something before you’re good at it. The polers who make it look easy? They’ve probably been right where you are. Pole frustration is normal.

Remember: There’s No “Right” Timeline

Some factors that impact progress:

• Body differences (Mobility, strength, past injuries)

• Learning style (Some need verbal cues; others learn by feel)

• Outside stress (Work, sleep, life stuff affects focus)

• Pure luck (Sometimes things just click on random days)

What matters isn’t how fast you get it—it’s that you keep showing up.

Final Thought: You Belong Here

Pole isn’t about being perfect. It’s about trying, falling, adjusting, and sometimes laughing through the chaos.

So next time you’re the only one still working on a trick?

✨ Breathe.

✨ Do your emotional support trick.

✨ Celebrate small wins.

✨ Trust that your body is learning, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

You’ve got this. 💖